Well. Things are changing.
As a Capricorn, I am slow to change. While I can accept it, it takes time. And I don’t always have a positive attitude about it either. Unforgivingly so.
For one thing - I’m getting on birth control. I went to the gyno yesterday and there is clearly something wrong with me. This 2-periods a month thing isn’t good and he thinks these birth control pills will help. Quite frankly, I have no problem whatsoever with menstruating twice a month. Especially with my discover of the menstrual cup. BUT - obviously the doctor knows more than me. I made the mistake of looking at some reviews of the brand that I was prescribed and scared myself even more. Most of the reviews say that this brand brings about anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts. Of course meds work differently among different people but still. I’m scared as crap to take it. I don’t want to. But for once in my life, I will push my stubborn attitude aside and do what I’ve been told. Plus, Esposo says I don’t have a choice. He says I need to take it and to stop messing around with my health. Fine. It just sucks. I feel so helpless. The one thing I’ve been against for so long, I have to take. Excuse me if I feel a little defeated right now.
But on a good note, according to Foursquare, I’ve been to the gym 5 weeks in a row. That’s some kind of record for me. Within the past year I’ve been so off and on with going and I’m glad I’m being consistent again. I’ve been working out during my lunch break on some days and it just feels….so good. So good. My stamina is getting where it used to be. I can now run half a mile again and plank for over a minute without dying. A month ago I couldn’t do that. I still “feel” fat though so I’ve got a long way to go.
Next week is Maryland and I am so not prepared. Especially financially. Hustler mode has been kicked in and I am doing all kinds of random jobs to get $50 here and $100 there. Selling ad space, writing articles, baby sitting…anything. The extra funds will help buy Esposo and I some winter wear because we ain’t got none. None.
Work is so boring. Sometimes I just want to take my computer and sit outside on the gazebo. It’s really the environment that makes me stir crazy. Satan designed cubicles.
I want to do this 2011 ending thing but I think I’ll save that for next week.
